Who's the Lame Asshole Now?

Despite the fact that I had a pretty good run this morning with minimal leg pain, I am in a superbly shitty mood. I did not want to get out of the car and make that sorrowful walk into a day of clammy, tired, and revoltingly mundane activity. This is a very wierd feeling: all I want to do is sit somewhere and stare into space catatonically. I am not tired, I am not hungry. Just down like Eor. Man, what a lame feeling. Not only is it lame, but right around the edges I am pissed off. I don't know at what, but I came an inch too close to telling the old guy at Wawa, the one who stands in everyone's way during "rush hour" to refill the cups and lids at the coffee station, to: GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY! YOU HAVE ALL DAY TO REFILL THE SUGAR, CAN'T YOU JUST WAIT?! Unfortunately, you and I both know that I am not ballsy enough to say such a thing. Another thing to be pissed off about - I wish I had said it. What the fuck am I so afraid of and why do I have to be so damn timid all the time?
My antisocial shyness is becoming crippling, I am starting to realize. There are lot of things I don't do, places I don't go, because I don't want to deal with interacting with people. It is insane, and I think it's slowly making me insane. I need to grow some balls and get over myself because eventually I am going to end up a shut in.