'Done Got Old'

Yesterday afternoon I had a brief wave of panic. I know that my job is repetitive. I know that for the past few months all I have been doing is microarrays.

But something about yesterday made it really sink in, and I had a momentary flood of desperation. It was hot and dark in the lab and the only thing I could do to fend off sleepiness was to work standing up listening to The Hives. Just as it was about over - I was getting ready to hybridize - I realized that the next day I would have to do it all again. I admit, the repetition is one of the things I actually like about this work: at a certain point it becomes automatic and you don't have to think much and your brain can be busy thinking about other things that are more relevant. Like what you would rather be doing with your life. Standing in that sweltering lab, pulling tubes in and out of the centrifuge, getting up every 5 minutes only to walk 3 feet to the water bath, or to the freezer, and back again - it was all too much. I felt, not for the first time, that my time was being absorbed into a fluorescently lit hole with little air, and most importantly, that there was a way to stop this.

If I could figure out the best way how.

Well, for now (and probably a long time to come) quitting my job is out of the question. What, find a new job? Maybe. Not if it involves daily sessions of "passing the time".

This week has been a good running week - did about 8 miles Monday and Tuesday and took it easier today because I felt some tightness in my leg. The weather is getting better - the sun shining and all that, so I want to be sure that I'm ready and pain free to start running outside again. I am a little worried about the hills on my usual route. I don't know if they will be detrimental to the healing of my leg, so I may have to find some alternate roads until I build up strength down there.

It is only Wednesday and I feel old.