Old Air

This morning there was a thick, heavy fog - running through it was like treading through sludge and breathing was so labored, like breathing in someone else's old air*. But it was so beautiful. It almost reminded me of foggy mornings in Ocean Grove, except there was no ocean breeze to shift the moisture around every once in awhile. It was just like the lead apron they put on you when you get x-rays done at the dentists office.

*I hate this sensation. When r, (it never is anybody else who would be allowed to get this close, this intimate to my face) isn't wearing his glasses and we are laying there in bed and he comes in close so he can see me better I feel like my lungs are going to cave in. I feel guilty about it. I try and time my breathing so we take in oxygen at the same time, but it never works out right. I always end up getting a bit of his exhale and I start to panic. I start to picture negative air forming a vacuum in my chest cavity and all the cells caving in on themselves. Maybe it also has to do with the fact that when he's that close, I cant see him, and start to feel dizzy. So we can only see each other one at a time.